Defeating Shyness

Being shy can make dating seem impossibly daunting. If you're shy, you may find it hard to imagine how you'll be noticed when you feel that you can't communicate with anyone, let alone make the first move. However, what you may be forgetting is that shy people can often come across as enigmatic and intriguing, and many people prefer someone a little self-effacing to a person that is brash and overly confident. A bonus shy people have is that they often make good listeners - or they certainly appear to be so anyway.

However, there are some tips you can follow to either help overcome your shyness or minimize the effects it may have.

• Don't think of yourself as shy; think of yourself as quiet or a good listener instead.
• Make small talk as often as possible by talking to store assistants, your next-door neighbors and work colleagues.
• Compliment people and accept compliments with a smile and a thank you.
• Take some time before your date to make sure that you look your best. Knowing that you look great will help you feel comfortable and will also boost your confidence.
• If you're worried that you might become tongue-tied on a date, choose to see a movie or play or go to watch a sporting event. You'll have less time available to talk, and the time you do have can be filled with a discussion about the event.
• There are a number of subjects that are pretty much universal - almost everybody can contribute to them. These useful topics include:
• Family
• Work
• Hobbies
• Education (your high school and college days)
• When chatting, ask 'open' questions (ones that require more than a yes/no answer) that allow your date to elaborate on their replies; this will help the conversation to flow more easily.
• Don't keep throwing question after question at your date without listening to the answers, just to ensure that there are no embarrassing silences.
• Don't forget to talk about those things that you are good at and interested in.
• Don't feel bad about being shy - almost all of us experience it at one time or another.